21. Open Relationships.

I had posted about this topic a few years ago, but I thought it's still relevant, especially with this new generation being so open minded (or, as they say, "woke"). I edited a couple of lines to bring the timeline up to date, and I added insight recently obtained from friends in my social media. 

When I first started officially dating my now husband, I asked him if he was cool with an open relationship and he immediately he said NO. I was relieved to hear that because I also didn't want to. My goal is to be with one person and be my only marriage as well. Today, we have been together for 13 years, the last seven being married, and we still have not considered opening our relationship. So why bring up this topic, you may ask? Well, historically (from what I've heard), open relationships are more common with gay couples, so I was curious as to why and how they work it out. 

First of all, I want to make clear that I am not judging (nor do I have an opinion about) anyone who's in this type of relationship. In the contrary, more power to them! I admire the trust they have on their partner, and the confidence on the status of their relationship. 

A few months ago, I asked my husband this same question, in case his perspective had changed; instead, he got concerned I was the one thinking about that possibility. He still said NO. "I would be jealous", he added. I agreed with him. I don't think I can, and I don't want to, share my husband. 

An original comment from the time I talked about this topic was that one person cannot fulfill all needs of their partner, especially in the sex department. Recent feedback from someone in my social media was that "There is always someone else who can fill needs that you might be missing, but how long will that last? And in a marriage each person should want to meet the other needs and make changes accordingly... you may find new things you didn't know you needed." I agree with this statement, and it should apply to every aspect in the relationship. I think we should focus on the problem and aim for a solution to "fix it", in this case being sex related. We shouldn't jump to opening the relationship just because we don't want to put in the work or it's the easy way out.

Open Relationships also known as ENM or Polyamorous relationships, should be agreed upon by both parties, obviously. There should be ground rules and boundaries, and of course, full trust. You can see a good example in the show 'INSATIABLE' on Netflix (it was a great comeback for Alyssa Milano, by the way).

I saw another example of boundaries in an episode of "THE CARRIE DAIRIES" when one of the characters falls for a handsome man and she starts to make plans to settle down; however, this man turns out to be in an open marriage and their only boundary was that they wouldn't tell each other when or who they were hooking up with.

Sure, both situations are slightly different, but it still falls into the boundaries part of the agreement.


Another friend shared with me that her husband brought up opening the relationship for him; however, there was an ulterior motive - another woman had put that bug in his head so she could fuck him. What a little witch! Let's not be that type of people.  

The husband did his research and found out that's hard for men out there to get laid (a topic that caught my attention and I'll look into). 


But anyway, what do you all think about open relationships - would you try it?

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